As i drove to work today… Zooming on the highway coz i was late for work today.. It occurred to me that the flashing light on the Dashboard was sending me a message. A vital one. That my fuel tank was close to being empty.
Pretty much like my body.
As i lie awake half asleep, i realise my body needs a massage a holiday and some exercise. Sometimes it’s the it’s catch22 things we just have to push with in order to break a cycle. Exercise is one of those right now. I have no energy or will or time to exercise, but a small part of me knows a walk or jog or aerobic exercise will release stress as well as increase energies.
In a Few days i am going to take some days off. Yeah right.. Said that 2 weeks ago. Then a week back . And again this weekend. I should stop saying that now.
A staff resignation on Sunday night.. A week before a work deadline.. Oh deadlines.. Yes we will be doing alot of those this in the next few weeks coming up..
Shucks i was suposed to call my doctor for a refill of the sleeping pills. Didnt get it to it for the last week and a half.
Back to the deadlines.. Ermm yeah. Why does red bull not agree with me
I missed both my kids online madrasah meeting coz i was at work.. Yeah im that mum..
Oh what a week!! (and it’s only Monday)
Let the sun shine through
Onto some good-er news.. My dad may be discharged from hospital this week (inshaAllah ameen). Cant wait to have my dad back home..
Todays post is from a cousin, a covid survivor, a strong woman. Thank you for all the valuable advises over the weeks, which helped us deal with my dads illness as well. Anisa and ayoub.. You are survivors..
Share your covid survival story in the comments below. Perhaps someone may have a spark of hope reading your story.
Its day 17432 of lockdown… By now more families would havr had some sort of close encounter with covid, be it a family member, a friend, or someone they know.
If covid hasn’t touched your home yet, 1. Make extensive shukr (gratitude to your Lord). 2. Pray that it doesn’t. And 3. Pray that if it does its mild.
This post is dedicated to those not yet impacted. If you already have family members or colleagues infected or ill, here are a few things you, as a negative person/household can do.
Dont panic.
Start keeping a few pre prepared meals in the freezer. Either for yourself or to assist others who may need it. Pre cooked, heat and eat.
Start getting your affairs in order. Ensure you have an updated will. As a Muslim it is imperative to ensure that you have an islamic will, to avoid complications later.
Make a list of your assets and liabilities, and keep it in a safe place.
Discuss the above with your family, let them know how they can access certain information, or leave these in safekeeping with someone you trust absolutely.
Have an appointed person in thr family keep copies of each members id copy, medical aid details etc. This will help in terms of getting access to treatment, or adnission to hospital, or in estate matters.
Access to support and information. 1. Be informed but avoid lots of information from varied sources. Information overload can add to panic and distress.
2. Keep aware of those who are offering services in your area ahould you need them(testing, virtual consults, access to oxymeter, oxygen machine, counselling etc should any be needed).
Should a family member be admitted into hospital. Or need home care, work with a plan. Communication with your family is important, as well as having a support structure. Appoint one person in the family as ameer(leader). Delegate certain things, such as admin, phone callsetc, and take turns to assist with food preparation for the sick, and other treatments required. Each case and each family will be different. Some may need suport, whilst others may not.
Ask for help when you need it. For some families it can be really tough.. If you havr a network of family of friends, ask them if they can assist. Delivering some cooked meals. Assisting with supplies or Groceries. Sometimes just talking to someone about whats stressing you out helps alot. Or maybe chatting about something totally different. Its ok to say to your close friends “can we talk about something else beside covid)”
Always be mindful of Allah. No matter how distressing the situation is, it is all from Allah. As is recovery. Tawakkul(complete faith in Him), is so crucial.
Enjoy the moments with your family, while you can. For tomorrow is not guaranteed(for anyone.. Covid patient or not). Dont let the panic and fear of covid prevent you from wholesome relationships with yoyr family.
May Allah Protect us all from illness and suffering, may He grant shifa and ease to all those already inflicted, and grant comfort to those distressed as a consequence of this virus. May he forgive all our sins and bring us all closer to Him.
Time for reflection.. Time for change.. Time for a party(hell no)… Time to stop consuming flour and butter at an increasingly calorific rate.
The past 100 days have been so surreal. Strange. I baked things and cooked things i never have before. I wrote the most amount of blog posts in this period. I banged pots, and rearranged kitchen cupboards. I went through 4 periodic cycles. (a little longer than the iddat period). i worked. I cried. I laughed. I disconnected. I reconnected. I learned. I froze. I slayed
And i forgot to complete this and post it on the 100th day
Since my dad was tested postive, i am high risk to others, as i was in close contact with him. I am avoiding hugging or kissing my kids, or sharing utensils. Avoiding may be a mild word. I am ensuring that i dont. Its difficult to isolate from them, we stay in the same house.
I want to be with my dad and help him. And talk to him face to face. If i do i will have ti stay there, and not see my kids for a few weeks. They are going to school and i would hate to be the reason many other families grt the virus.
Its sad seeing my dad, my support, my comfort, lying in bed with an oxygen pipe attached to his face (my mum said he was excited to try out the “new machine”). It’s hard not being there.
My other concern is if i am there and i test positive, i dont want to put a strain on my mum, sister, or anyone, in terms of medical home care. Today i just cried. The tears flowed down in salaah, in the kitchen. We had a family video call, and i dont know why but it was tough. Couldnt stay the whole while. Thats when the waterworks started. At least till after zuhr salah. I don’t know why i cried, it just came. My dad has always been there for us, and now covid stipulates we cant be there for him.
Having an elderly family member with covid, and diabetes is very concerning. But if it means keeping that distance for a few days in order to keep safe, and others safe, i suppose it has to be done. My mum is taking a strain, as she is also starting to realise thst this could be goodbye. My sister is excitable in her panic, and my other sister is the quiet rational one. Me.. I felt like I need to see to everyone else first, everything else, and now i can sit with my emotions.
Fear. Worry. Anxiety. Loneliness. Stress. I suspect i will be making a plan for some calming tablets very soon, or antidepressants for a short while.
I am ever grateful foe my friends, foe just being my friends, and to the family and relatives who remember my dad in their duas constantly.
May Allah grant all those with this disease shifa, cure, strength and ease.
After an emotional morning, i managed to sort myself out, and get the emotion out. InshaAllah it can only get easier from here
Yesterday my dad was tested positive for covid. Its a strange thing this covid. Very strange. Even more strange is the emotions that come with it.
In practising social distancing.. Who is the person who takes the patient for testing. What about the caregivers. If person a tests positive, and needs support. Person b looks after them. Obviously there will be contact etc. Person b contracts covid. Who looks after person b. Lets say person c. How does this work.
Nevertheless it has been a really taxing week so far. Emotions running high, stress filling veins. Anxiety, panic, composure, all at once.
So my dad is now sick. Alhamdulillah everyone is making dua (prayers) for him, and reading. Initially as the immediate family, it can get abit much with everyone suddenly being experts on covid, and dishing out advise (people who have not had covid, or family members with it). An entire array and epiphany of home remedies, and things to try. This is how people show they care. This virus makes us all feel helpless. Perhaps people all feel that maybe something they suggest may help. May stop it. May ease the pain of someone. Maybe they work maybe they dont. Who knows. Even medical doctors dont.
Its a time of panic. Those who thought this virus wont get to them, are now being proved wrong. Or are now seeing it in the families, or friends. If you dont know of one person personally who has covid.. Where are you at? Or perhaps your social circle is too small. Jokes aside.. I pray that Allah keep us all safe and healthy, and those who do get it, may He make it a means of expiating their sins.
I wonder if there will be a whole generation of us who will all soon be orphaned within a short space of time.
Now that my dad sick i feel like i want to be with him, to rub his feet, and feed him food. But yet i cant. Coz of covid. If this is going to be his last days, (what an excruciating thought) i want to spend it with him. Its tough seeing ur parents get old, its indescribable seeing them sick and going through this.
My escape and coping mechanism is sometimes work. It keeps me sane. This week i need to wind down with work, and take some time off. I need to let my dads staff show what they are made of. I need to delegate some matters for thr body corporate. This week is almost over. Feeling like i need to hold the fort_ manage my dads office, my clients, my kids schedule and emotional wellbeing, my emotional wellbeing, cooking, etc etc. All of these masking the emotions of fear, distraught, worry. Thinking of the worst.
Theres so many questions and decisions and thoughts. Do I close my dads office for a while. Do I have all the staff tested. If so at what point. And how frequently. If they dont come to work are we still liable to pay them. What about the clients vat. And outstanding matters. If ive been in contact with my dad, do i need to self isolate or quarantine and since ive already been in contact with him, will it not matter if i now come into contact with him again. What is thr point of life. Why do we need 3 meals a day. Why has someone not invented a self cleaning machine yet. Will my dad be ok. Is my mum ok. What else can i do to make things easier. Do I need to inform all my dads clients that he is positive. Or just a few.
What about the domestics at home. You relieve them from coming to work. As a caregiver you now have to see to the covid patient, prepare nutritious foods, attend to the patient, sanitise the room and change linen regularly, and keep the washing cleanly rotated, to avoid spread of the disease. For a couple staying on their own this could be a real challenge. For elderly people, overwhelming would be an understatement.
What did you do today for fun.. My 13 year old niece asks me. Bloody hell… Dont ask me such dramatic questions. You know im an adult..and an accountant. Fun is a part of a word.. Fundamental. Funky. Function. Fund. Fungi.Not a verb or state of being.
A trip to the laser lady to have her blast all thr lil bits of hair molecules is fun. She shoots, and stings you, and sometimes it leaves a mark. Kinda like paintball.
I really do need to add some more colour and life to my days. Some exercise and some art. I have decided to allow myself a holiday next week. I am putting in my leave application at thr beginning of the week with my boss. I think she may say that i can only take leave once certain tasks are complete. Accounting tasks never get complete. They are like those constant bombardment of questions u get from a 5 year old. My boss can be a real bitch sometimes, when she wants to. Work only policy. She doesnt see the point of a holiday during lockdown. Where are u going to go. Certainly not the beach or the mountains. Or anywhere remotely close nearby. Not on your income. Uh no. Sometimes shes nice and allows me to take the afternoon off, to walk with a friend, or to stand at the stove pretending to cook whilst whatsapping.
Working from home, for myself, is challenging somedays, and pretty ok on others. This week i decided to attack one project which i was procrastinating with for long. I couldnt sleep one night (coz of inconsistent thermoregulation issues), and decided to get the job done. It was quite lovely working at 330 am, with no disturbances, no kids, no noise, no distractions of phones whatsapps, vacuum cleaners etc. 2 hours later i realised the project was only challenging, because i allowed it to be so. The early morning can be so productive, it can also mess up ones sleep cycle, but its a good push now and then.
So let me tell u my story today. There was interesting webinar at 3pm. Long story.. I listened to it in the car. Was engrossed so when i came home i rushed to get my laptop up and running. I Offloaded my my entire crate of files, searched furiously foe mt laptop. Went to the boot. Not there. Started worrying that maybe i left it at office. Checked the crate again. Actually i had somehow, in those few minutes left it on the dining table 👩🏼💻 #memoryloss #lotsofdata
Let me tell you another story. I played hopscotch with my kids today. They were so amused thatbu can actually have fun, OUTSIDE, with nothing but a stone. I must mention though that i did have to coerce them into going outside. In a spate to fo some some parenring this week, i firced them them for at least 20 minutes. That was my stern condition. So as im sitting out earing my yoghurt, the 2 of em just stared at me blankly. Like what must we do outside. They looked at me like kids you were called into the principals office, unsure why, with their hands behind their back, trying to hide any sign of nervousness. I played hopscotch in heels. And then switched to something more comfy. My kids askes if they can play again tomorrow.
Not my heels, and not my legs. (image supplied through google)
It has come with a certain positive energy. Yes it is period time, and oms strikes again, but this time im making constructive use of the energy that is generated in thr oms factory. Usually its anger frustration tears (these have passed already for this cycle), and not its.. “someones gona get a shake up wake up” phase (most likely me)
Let me tell u another story. It made my husband chuckle. It is 18h44 i am doing dishes, my phone rings. Its an 021 number. I look at my phone strangely, and so do my kids, as they are probably thinking.. Work calls at night. Oh no. Him:hello is this is mrs sha.. Sha.. Shamima. Me:yes.. Him: you are speaking is Lennard from such such insurance co.. Words words. Me:wait a min.sorry what did u say your name was. (in a sweet voice). Him:Lennard. Me: Lennard its half past six, i am exhausted, i understand that you are working very hard but no marketing calls after 5, ok? I’m not interested in insurance, life policies, or anything else right now. Plz have my number removed from ur marketing list. Him:May the Lord bless you. Me:thank you Lennard. Hanged up. And so sweetly and curt i was. Sorry Lennard (or Leonard).
Whispers And Walnuts 