Wild wild west and technology

19.nov.2023

We sit with our phones and devices constantly. It’s next to our bed when we Sleep. It’s our source of information. It’s our ” downtime”. It’s our navigation, our storage. To them it’s a means of control

Facial recognition. Thumb print recognition. Location tracking. Search “enhancement”/ “optimization”. Step tracker, heart tracker, poo tracker, money tracker,location tracking.

You can access your phone using your face, it’s to make your life better. You have a discussion with someone, and you now get ads / suggested content on your email, Instagram, Facebook for the very thing. Is that not a form a control. Of mind control

We need to all our details to access certain content. To shop (online, we’ve given them our details. In store they lured us in with rewards card where we gave them our details in order to receive something free.

When your sm account gets locked or u decide to log off, and u can’t remember your password to get it, it’s easier for Google to grant you access than it is to for you to unlock it. Control.

And if we are not on sm, we have been indoctrinated to believe that we are missing out. Or we will be fizzled out and forgotten. We need to be part of this group in order to have a place in the world.

Without our phones we will not find direction in getting somewhere new. We will be lost. Literally and figuratively.

We sign up for medical aid insurance, they want to tell you how many steps to take, which medical facilities you can and can’t use. If you achieve what we want you to, we will give a reward. Then you achieve it, and the goal post moves. And they suck us in.

The smarter the phones become, the more of “us” they are consuming. The more of “us” we are losing to them.

They have made their products indispensable to us. And we have sheepishly allowed technology to take over parts of our lives in the name of “progression” and enhancent.

I’m not against technology. Not at all. Progression is great. We were created with intellect, curiosity, and a capacity for innovation. I wonder though at what cost. What are we giving up in order to progress.

My late grandmother said to me, our generation has enough tools and appliances(such as dishwasher, washing machine etc) which should be making our lives easier,and less “hectic” and yet we are always just busy and our lives have become more stressed.

If we have all this technology literally in the palm of our hands, technologies that were created by the west-imagine thr technologies the west has. Imagine the oppressive regimes of USA Israel etc etc who are bombing civilians out of pure greed, colonization and hatred-what technologies would they have. What control they would have over their victims. State of the art facial recognition and tracking rn technology, and yet they “can’t find hamas”. Have we even seen pictures of hamas. Have we seen pictures of the nuclear weapons. Of their army trucks. Artillery. Nothing.

My request is to limit the use of this technology of “theirs”. Stop sharing everything with them. Stop consuming so much from sm. Limit it. As much as we derive information from there, we have also become their pawns. Go out of the phone Space, into the outdoors, enjoy your days, and don’t share it with everyone. Do something for someone, and don’t share it. Do something different and don’t share it.

On dealing with Jen o side

Nov 2023

We open our social media and we are bombarded with images that are heart breaking, gut wrenching, pure evil, indescribable. We become angry, consumed, obsessed, sceptical, torn, broken. We cannot believe what we are seeing. And each day it gets worse. And some times we get despondent, and desensitized.

Consuming this amount of torture content is not normal. No amount is normal. It affects our psyche. And that’s what they want.. For thr world to see their atrocities, for the world to know they don’t care. To see the as powerful and controlling. If we become despondent and depressed we are then also amongst their victims. Without being the physical war zone. We are int he mental war zone. And the tool they using is the very same tool that we use for information. The very same tool that is bringing light to the atrocities to others.

How would we deal with this.

Show your support. Post pictures and artwork on sm. Don’t post pictures of the dead, or the mutilations, or the horrific other images. Use your words. As much as we want the world to see the actual extent of their cruelty, we also should be having respect for the dead.

Give yourself certain times when u actively consume information re the Jen o side. Don’t keep scrolling the entire day. Don’t keep the news on in the background the entire day. Give yourself a time frame, don’t get sucked in. Because hours can pass whilst going through content, feeling heartbroken and angry. In those hours you could’ve made genuine dua or read Quran for thr people of Gaza (constructive action).

Consume written content in addition to media. Read books to enlighten you.

Remember you have a family too. You have a responsibility to them, or to yourself to make a difference in thr world. Those 2 hours on Instagram has passed. And yes you would’ve shared some content, which does make a difference

Remove yourself from your sm in small doses each day.

Each day thr war continues, and each time you get angry, upset, emotional, disheartened, leave your phone pick up your Quran. Or pick up your hands in dua. Try each day.. To become a little better of a person, of a Muslim, than you already are. Increase your knowledge of Islam. One line at a time. Each time they kill someone, our iman must be getting stronger. We need to build up of iman artilerry. This is our internal jihad.

Encourage your mosque, community to have programs regularly. To announce duas and supplications on thr speaker.

Boycott. In stages

Be present for your family and friends.

Help someone in your vicinity. Make an effort to find someone struggling, and help them uplift them out of their struggling. Know that you are making a difference. Be the humanity that is lacking in thr west.

Why and where does the time go

As I sit here, solo, in a hotel room(resort/chalet), I’m wondering why I struggle with burnout at least annually or biannually.

Why is it that there’s no barakat I. Time. Why can’t I get to doing the personal things I want to do. Like buying gifts for those I need to. Those who had babies, lost loved ones etc. Online shopping. Normal shopping. Where is the time going

On my phone.. Would be the standard answer. Checking of what’s apps. Feeds. Stories. Etc. It may not seem so, bit it seems it does take time in my day. I think I overspend time on my device. Maybe I’m addicted to it.

I possibly need a second device to seperate work and personal. I also need to learn seperate the same on a daily basis. Even tho my work is stressful, I can’t let it eat me alive. I need to be there for my kids. I want to. I at thr end of day, Allah created men and women differently. And I can’t play the role of a man. And take on thr stresses a man would. Not anymore. I need to reduce my hours at work… Given that it is my business now. I need to reduce the load, and increase the fees. I can’t keep carrying the anger and resentment for much longer. I don’t want to. I want to give to others. I want to be able to relax and unwind properly at the end of each day. I need to get my basics right. Pray. Eat well. Laugh. Hydrate. Kids. Work.

From the archives

5august 2021

Does it get easier (12.11.21)

Some said it gets easier. Some said it still hurts even years after.. When you lose someone close in your life, a chunk of you goes with too.. You decide which chunk is thst.. Is it the good person with a soft heart, or is it thr part of you you despise.

Does it get easier.. The grief, the hurt, the heartache.. I don’t know. I don’t think there’s a straight out one size fits all answer. My dad passed away over a year ago. And it still hurts, and I still miss him. I haven’t cried much after his loss.. Maybe I’m still in shock, or in avoidance. Maybe I’m just chugging along. Maybe I’ve grieved him, before he left. Maybe I’ve made peace with the thought that he is in a better place.

Does it get easier.. I don’t know. I do know that you can’t live with the grief your whole life.. You have to carry on and move, pick yourself up and trod along.

Does it get easier. I don’t know. I still get chest pains, and heart ache, and maybe an inkling of depression. I still miss him. But life has to carry on. I need to be a super parent to my kids, as he was to us. They need me too. And a yr has been to long with me not being me. I have to find that piece of me, that went missing when my dad was chosen to leave. That piece of me thst held the joy and the contentment. The happiness and the strength.

Does it get easier. I don’t know. Maybe it does if you allow the wound to heal. Maybe it does if you don’t keep gnashing at the same wound. Maybe it doesn’t go away, but maybe it does get easier.

From the archives

Date of draft, 21November 2021,(1yr ago)

#grief #loss #despair #moveon #moveforward #depression #coping

Burnout

You have a cellphone with a battery of 15%. What do you do if you cannot recharge it immediately? I would probably limit my usage to important things only. Or switch off data and wifi if not necessary. Best case is to avoid the situation by charging the device regularly.

The body is your device.. To access the world.. It needs a rest too, and it needs to be charged regularly to be able to function optimally.

Burnout is my equivalent of having very very low battery, which needs to operate a device for some time to come.

How to recharge when you are low…

Stop.. Take a break.. Do something you enjoy. A little bit at a time. Identify why you are burning out, and work on each one a little at a time.

Last week I reached the pre pinnacle of a burnout phase, the 15% battery level. I had allowed work to consume my energies, zapping with it self care, hydration, and nutrition, exercise and any sense of fun.

Given that, it would be almost a year since my dad contracted covid, and the memories of the occurrences in these months last year, play an impact of the amount of energies that are consumed emotionally. Tax deadlines not allowing room to breathe. A spate of retrenchments taking a toll on me emotionally.

Physically I was left paralyzed by the cold, unable to move much, except to drive a car to work, and walk to the printer whilst there. My days for a few weeks were a literal series of work, eat, TV, kids time, sleep. Sometimes I paused to go to thr Park or dam, a breath of fresh air. But last week the exhaustion started kicking in.

If you’ve burnt out before, you would kind of have an idea that u reaching empty levels again. However, like a rat on a wheel, it’s not easy to stop.

I survived alot of days on just coffee in thr morning, and carbs at night. Nothing in between. Not hydrating properly, due to thr cold weather(and getting into a rut). What do you expect to happen when u find yourself eating, sleeping, breathing, dreaming work? I didn’t have time to focus on nutrition, on snacks, lunch, hydration-it’s no surprise that I’m now dizzy or tired after a few hours of work.

Avoiding burnout… You would be the best person to identify what your burnout mechanisms were, and how to correct it. For me, start at the basics.. Hydration, nutrition and sleep. Less of what you were doing that caused the fatigue. Less work. Less planning. Less stress. Less cellphone time. Take a holiday if needed. Take a break.

There are many activities that can be done to recharge without having to spend much. Getting some fresh air daily, taking in your surroundings, admiring the trees, and birds, and nature in your own space.

Going out to your local park, and just chilling. Finding a hiking or picnic spot nearby, and spending a few hours out. Catching up on series or movies, if u are not usually an avid TV person. Spending a few minutes extra on yourself.. Styling your hair, applying makeup, dressing up. Look in the mirror and smile at yourself, acknowledging your attempts daily.

Sometimes it’s easier said than done, if you are not in a position to self recharge.

I took 1 and a half days off work, just before a long weekend. And went away to a nearby resort. The things I did that recharged me, were.. Drinking water, sleeping, eating a tub of strawberries on my own without sharing, napping, short walks(very short), 2 spa treatments, watching TV to my hearts Content, and watching whatever I wanted. Not waking up to an alarm(though the bladder is quite something on its own). I actually really enjoyed the salad I ordered, and a milkshake-which I usually don’t order.

When I left I looked ghastly. I came home feeling a little more more rejuvenated than when I left. Luckily there were still anothrr 2 days to relax.. And whilst I didn’t relax much, I started spring cleaning the back room, and did some D. I. Y at home. And felt good about it.

Avoid burnout

Take regular breaks

Don’t take on more Than you should

Self care is important too

To keep a balance, it’s sometimes necessary to go abit slower

Working from home.. The new normal,

How to maintain a healthy balance when everything happens at thr same location

With the pamdemic moving into its 16th month.. More businesses are moving towards a work from home option. Many already have. As an employee working from home, there are certainly some benefits such as travel reduction, cost of travel benefit, not having that mad morning rush. However working from home can also have it’s challenges, such as increased demands by family or kids, mental health issues from the isolation from contacts/peers, irritability with having to share the same space with family members all the time, not being able to switch off from Work or to find a healthy balance.

How to find a healthy balance. Keep to set working hours. As you would with an in office job, make sure you keep to set hours. Avoid doing other things in thr day that you usually wouldn’t while at thr office (example shopping, going for coffee with friends, sleeping, watching TV). As much as it may feel nice to be home, these are things that could get you into trouble.

Plan for loadshedding (South Africa only). Discuss with your boss the loadshedding days, and have a suitable arrangement for additional power. These exceptional circumstances would be the exception To point number 1.

Keep your shared space neat and tidy. Have a dedicated space or cupboard for your files, laptop etc, and at the end of your work hours put evrything away neatly, so its out of sight for after work hours. It can be tempting to go back to the work after hours when you regularly see the files, and it’s a reminder that certain things are still to be done. Use your car boot if necessary, and if safe to do so. Packing away all your work things helps to mentally shut off, and also clears the space for your family time. This is more applicable to smaller homes. Those with large homes and a dedicated office to close and lock door. In smaller homes where the dining room table is the new shared space, keep it clean and orderly regularly.

Exercise. Or get out of the house. Exercise is important for our wellbeing, for our functioning. And for getting oxygen to the brain(and fitness, and release of oxytocin etc). Do it for yourself. Do it for your kids, do it for your wellbeing. At least 20 to 30 minutes daily. Or even a few times a week would help.

Switch off… After your dedicated work hours, switch off. Do something thst relaxes you, and thst you enjoy. Cook, clean, watch some TV, read a book, phone a friend. The seperation between work and home is important. And establishing a good routine is key.

Spend time with your kids and family. Take the time to enquire about their days, and their concerns. Phone a loved one. Do something that you enjoy after work.

Do not bring your laptop to bed. Notice I specifically didn’t use the word avoid. Do Not. No work files, no laptop, no work from the cellphone in bed. Keep your dedicated spaces seperate. Business VS personal. Relaxing VS work.

Vanity and social media

I ponder about the life we live, about how our lives have become.
So attached to our phones, so engrossed in our image.
We have become obsessed with how people see us.
A plea perhaps.?
Approval?
Recognition?
Acceptance?

There are those who scroll and troll
And those who who want to be trolled
We portray so much on SM
But how much of it is actually us.

Filters
To make you look younger
Beautiful
Thinner
And those awful glitterize ones
To add even more pretentious glamor.
We post what we eat, when we wear makeup, when we wear a scarf, when we dress up, when we cook and when we bake. We post when we do something or when we go somewhere. And when we feel something.

We message about everything, and are lost without a phone.
To those who scroll..
Do u scroll down or to the right.
Instagram
Whatsapp
Facebook
Tiktok
?

To the those who want to be scrolled..
How does one interest or business then turn into a series of everything In your life.

To the Muslim Influencers- why put music in the background.. Is it merely bcoz it’s a latest  trend. Everyone else is doing it?  Or perhaps bcoz Instagram offers it, so we use it.. Keeping up with technology? An influencer influences people, why not influence in an Islamically correct way.

10.04.2021

How confused must the mind be, scrolling through Islamic posts, followed by music, followed by Quranic posts, and fashion, cooking, products, fitness, random adverts, memes.
Information overload.
And then we wonder why we are starting to become forgetful, and starting to lose focus.

Weighty heart

The heart weight 285 g (grams).
Yet it can carry in it tons.
Loads and burdens find its way there.
Unable to escape
You can feel it trapped
With the weight of the load
It’s load eventually seeps out
Unable to bear more
(or so it thinks)
Distributing its mass to the mind, the stomach, the legs, the muscle.
And yet as it distributes, the weight still overflows from the heart.
Heavy
Drowning
Draining with it the energies, the life, and the joy.
Like lead flowing through the veins
The heart wants to explode

One day at a time

11.10.20.  On the 3rd of October 2020, you went to meet your maker.. You went to a better place. I watched them take you in thr hearse, to your final resting place. A place of no pain, no medications, no illness.

I avoided thr hugs of those around me, even tho it was unavoidable. It was cold and empty. I took no comfort from anyone’s embrace. Not my mums not my sisters, not my husband. I actually cant even remember if my husband did embrace me. I took comfort in the 2 rakats nafl salat i read immediately after the body left, away from thr family, away from the crying and wailing. As i left the room, i couldnt ignore the hugs. The hugs that suffocated me, the embraces that lasted too long. The repeated words to which I politely said thank you, Jazakallah and Aameen to. Throughout the day i could not find a spot to lie down at, or sometimes even just sit relaxed. Every bed was taken, every corner filled with funeral goers. I just wanted to lie down.
Greeted by many who immediately connected with the loss, due their own loss of a parent, their emotions all coming out in different ways. People telling me it doesn’t get easier, it only gets harder, wasnt much comfort at all. Telling me about their struggle with their loss, or their story of loss.. At a time when i had just had the greatest loss of my life. And yet we had come to a point of saying goodbye to my dad days before, of telling him to let go, that we will be ok, that he will be reunited with his parents, and he will be in  green gardens, with rivers of milk. Our grief started when he was still alive, dying one organ at a time. One day at a time. That was my new motto.. One day at a time.. Everything came to a standstill in the 3 months we nurtured him, and watched him wither away. Plans for anything, for the weekend, for business meetings.. One day at a time. Self care.. Non existant. One day at a time.